The first question is easy; if you are asking, then yes! If you are not asking, the answer is also yes! Maybe this is your sign. 

I am always curious if people type the questions into google. How do people go about exploring the idea of therapy? As a therapist, I believe therapy is fantastic. However, I often forget that it can be intimidating or frightening for most people. I think people know about the difficulties of working through difficult times or past traumas. Reliving past experiences, telling a stranger your business, and worrying about privacy can steer people away from the idea of therapy. But, there is so much more to consider about therapy. 

Most people do not know the gains and relief after therapeutic sessions. I have experienced some of the most impactful moments of my life while holding space for people in a therapy session. Watching tears of relief and joy is something I will never take for granted. Watching "Ah-Ha" moments occur is awe-inspiring. Receiving text messages that say, "I have never been able to do XYZ, and now I can do it with ease" or "I am feeling gratitude for something I have now that I hoped and prayed years for." I get teary-eyed even remembering and writing those words. Watching people work towards their goals is symbiotic and inspiring. But, these gains are not overnight. They take a great deal of work and a considerable commitment to themselves. 

The second question, "What is therapy?" is a little longer and more involved to answer. 

In the simplest sense, therapy is a space where you can "dump" all your figurative "things" onto the table to sort them all out. With the help of a therapist, a person takes what they need to integrate into their lives and leaves what no longer serves them. Below I will discuss the components that help explain what therapy is. 

The Therapeutic Relationship

The therapeutic alliance or relationship is one of the most important parts of therapy. The therapeutic connection is unique in that a therapist is not a friend but looks out for your best interest in every way. In this relationship, a person MUST feel as though they are not being judged and feel safe enough to make this incredibly bold and brave move towards healing. I often refer back to a beautiful quote by Pema Chodron when thinking about the therapeutic relationship. "Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity." This quote is a beacon for our staff at Peace of Mind.

Acknowledging the Body

Research has shown that the body plays a huge role in stress, trauma, depression, and anxiety. The body is constantly scanning the environment for cues of safety and danger. Our body's main job is to keep us alive, so it will do everything to keep our organs and brain functioning. Even if what we are doing at the moment is deemed maladaptive or not advantageous any longer, our bodies will continue doing it. For example, a person can talk for weeks about anxiety, discussing their thoughts and emotions. However, if their body still feels as though it is in danger, it will still exhibit anxiety symptoms of increased heart rate or clammy hands. So in therapy, we use regulation, or what's better known as coping skills, to help the person's body feel comfortable during the therapy process. Therapists trained in the somatics of therapy will work with you to find the best regulation tools for you and your body. 

The body also acts like a cheque and balance. When we act a certain way, our bodies respond, and through this communication, we can check in to see if we are working in accordance with our values. For example, suppose we have a strong reaction to a triggering situation. In that case, our bodies may send a message of shame or embarrassment. If we are in tune with our body, we will "hear" this message and evaluate our response. 

Being in touch with our bodies is not only informative but also life-changing. 

Specialized Techniques for Therapy

Once a person feels as though they are safe enough (I use the term enough deliberately as I know that someone may not feel 100% safe), they can begin to take things out of their "bag." Once our therapists begin witnessing the removals from bag, as mentioned above, they can integrate techniques to help facilitate resolution and healing. For our office, we provide creative techniques such as music, Sandplay, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Safe and Sound Protocol, Narrative, Yoga, Meditation, to name a few. 

All of these techniques have their place and time during the process of therapy. Each technique taps into a different part of the body and mind for each person. We see each person as very individual and offer several options for healing depending on the person's needs and interests. 

Offering different specialized techniques makes therapy often enjoyable, fun, and dynamic. 

Goal Setting

As mentioned previously, we use specific techniques to help explore a person's past and values, helping create the pathway towards a person's ultimate goals. When a person enters therapy with their therapist, they may make a loose framework to help guide the sessions. Goal planning is an ongoing process that develops over time as the deeper, more prominent issues arise or surface. For example, people often come to therapy saying they want to perform better at work or home. Over time, they feel comfortable enough to discuss their childhood trauma. At that time, the therapist will update goal planning to address additional needs. Goal setting helps pave the way towards healing and also offers accountability. 

Past informs future

Our past experiences determine the way we walk through life. Many people compartmentalize their past traumas, but the traumas rear its head when we least expect or want them to arise. At Peace of Mind, we know that people cannot ignore the past, and we must work through the difficulties and messages from past situations. Sometimes the past clouds our judgment on situations or interpersonal relationships. Often, our bodies will feel as though they are still in the past and respond accordingly, even today. For example, you may receive a difficult email or voicemail from someone. Knowing what we know about the history informing the future, we say to ourselves, that person must have been hurt in the past, and we cannot take that personally. 

We must work through the past to see what is appropriate and change. Through trauma therapy, past histories are not erased or forgotten; they are reprocessed and integrated helpfully or adaptively. Therefore the memories do not have power over our perceptions and behaviors in the present time. 

Practice makes progress

Once we have worked through challenging situations in therapy, we will often practice for the future. Dr. Lemoncelli always said, "Insight is not Curative". Knowing our growth edges does not mean we do not have more work to accomplish. We have been operating a certain way for most of our lives. Now we must pave another more adaptive and healthy road with the tools we learned in therapy. Role plays, walking situations through, and looking at unintended consequences are a few ways we assess our skills and future triggering situations. 

Nothing is perfect

Therapy isn't perfect. Bumps in the road come up, people revert to their old maladaptive ways of coping, life happens. We are trained to see and anticipate these instances coming up as a practice. We ride the wave and provide a lifeboat when the person is ready. 

We see the most beautiful growth, some fantastic achievements, and people becoming the best versions of themselves in whatever capacity that may look like at that time. 

Therapy is one of the most amazing experiences a person can engage in their life. We invite you to try it for yourself. Feel free to reach out to our Intake Coordinator at 908-363-5535, and they can help match you with a therapist for your free 15-minute consultation. 

Kristina Silvestry, MA, NCC, LPC, ACS, CCTP, RYT-500